Wow, I can’t believe it’s been nearly a year and a half since my wedding, sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday! I guess in some ways we took a bit of an unconventional (and somewhat controversial) route with my wedding so I’m going to break this post into a few parts to share some fun pictures and give some explanations—particularly if you’re considering doing the same thing.
Anyway, it seems that ‘Wedding Fever” caught hold in my family, I’m so excited to share that my favorite (and only) younger sister will be tying the knot as well! I’m thrilled for her and her soon-to-be-husband, they’re amazing individually, and together and I wish them many years of happiness!
I realize that I've never actually shared much from my own wedding on this blog so until my sister's big day I'll post a short series on my own wedding to catch everyone up. Hopefully (with my sister's permission) I'll get to write a post on her wedding shortly as well! Like mine, it will also take place in Tennessee.
What? Traveling to Tennessee, I thought they all lived in Florida? Yeah we do, but destination weddings are awesome! Let me rewind a little and explain...
When I got engaged I began planning a beautiful outdoor wedding with the help of my mom and Pinterest. It included everything, the works, the whole shebang, kit’ and caboodle, nine yards, or any other crazy idiom you can think of. Even pushing the date back some in order to allow more time for planning! It was fun to plan and dream up…for about two weeks. At some point the newness wore off and the amount of work and stress began to set in. I realized very quickly that the bride and groom are often the last opinions that matter in a wedding! I had family and opinions coming out of the woodwork. I was done pretty quick. I love my family, and wanted to please them, but that wasn’t the reason I was getting married. I was getting married because I love Mr. FGT tremendously. Not to get too cheesy, but he is an amazing person and my heart was already dedicated to him. He was all I wanted, the “whole nine yards” was just icing on top of the best cake ever.
In a fit of frustration, I told my mom to forget it, we just wanted each other and could make that happen in a courthouse as well as anywhere else. Good ‘ole mom…she let me fume for a few hours before waving her magic mom wand. (Which IS a thing…I just haven’t discovered it yet. LOL)
Her suggestion? A destination wedding.
My first thought was beach or Vegas and neither appealed to me. (Funny tangent story, in Florida it’s not uncommon to go to the beach and see a wedding in progress or chairs, archways, etc. being set up for one. My two crazy aunts saw one being set up and intentionally laid their blanket, umbrella, etc. close enough to enjoy the wedding themselves! Yep—they pretty much crashed a stranger’s wedding! haha)
Anyway, my mom was the one who suggested a small, intimate wedding in Tennessee with only the people who are the closest to us.
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| These were all our wedding guests in front of the chapel! |
Why Tennessee? Mostly sentimental reasons. When my parents were married they went to Gatlinburg, TN for their honeymoon and fell in love. When we were teenagers, we often took family vacations back—staying in nearby Sevierville. My husband and his family also vacationed in nearby Cherokee—usually camping! Unbeknownst to us at the time, it’s also the #2 destination wedding spot in the country—bested only by Las Vegas!
Suddenly, we had a plan!
Now, I have gotten TONS of questions about this choice so I’ll try and break it down the best I can into the ones people ask the most. It’s funny the people who ask about it in person though, they either seem to be incredulous and slightly offended, or impressed and slightly jealous. LOL
How did you convince your family?
Well, my family was easy: it was technically my mom’s idea after all. Some of the extended family members who wouldn’t be able to attend were a little more difficult. Basically, we explained that this was a choice and something we really wanted to do and that we loved them very much and would miss them terribly but would send wedding announcements and share photos. We also decided to hold a ‘reception’ back in town about a month after the wedding where we invited everyone so those who couldn’t come could watch the video, etc. (And I got to wear the dress again—which is just fun!) As for my husband’s family, I guess I just got super lucky. He was excited about it right away and his immediate family seemed on board as well. They wanted to put us first anyway, and who doesn’t want to take a trip to Tennessee? Haha!
How could you afford it?
This one is a little trickier to answer and quite frankly isn’t one I like to be asked. I was always taught that it’s bad manners to ask about finances and it does make me slightly uncomfortable sometimes. I’ll try to be fairly transparent but I won’t get into specifics. We started by doing TONS of research on the etiquette of a destination wedding, one of our questions was whether or not we’d be expected to pay our guest’s expenses. Basically the answer is this: you can if you want, but the only thing you’re EXPECTED to pay are things you’re requiring the guest to attend. (i.e. if you hold your reception at a local restaurant, you’re expected to pay for their meal.) Other than that, the trip’s expenses are up to them. As a courtesy though, ‘Save the Date’ cards DO need to be sent out much further in advance than with a typical wedding in order to allow guests time to accommodate the trip financially and with work schedules, child/pet care, etc. After that, we did a lot of online shopping around for good deals on flowers, locations, flowers, etc. Destinations can be a cheaper option than a traditional wedding, but it can also be MUCH more expensive, it kind of just depends on the route you take and the choices you make.
What about the traditions—the wedding party, rehearsal dinner, etc.?
For the most part the rest of the wedding was fairly traditional. I chose to have a very small bridal party (Maid of Honor and Best Man only) but you could certainly have more, or even less people. As for the rehearsal dinner we did have one, but it wasn’t anything like a traditional wedding. We actually didn’t rehearse at all before the wedding or even see the inside of the location!. (I did watch a YouTube video of a wedding beforehand though just so I was confident I knew when everything was supposed to happen! haha) His parents did want to hold a ‘rehearsal dinner’ though and it was one of my favorite parts! The night before the guests who were already in town (some waited to travel or were just arriving) all gathered at the gigantic cabin they were renting and we had the most delicious homemade taco bar. It was casual but that was what made it awesome. We got to sit down together, joke around, enjoy a meal, and most importantly, RELAX! Since all the last minute decisions were finally done, it was really just a fun dinner and I’m glad his family chose to have it. Most of the extra parties were held before we left Florida. My family threw a shower for me, as did my coworkers and his family through a really cute ‘Honey Do’ party. (I may write a separate post on that later, although I wasn’t really a part of the planning. It was a very cute theme, the focus was on him and all the ‘manly’ chores—there were tool bucket centerpieces, games based on household chores, etc. I definitely want to steal the idea if I have sons in the future.) We also had a ‘reception’ at a separate location: a really cool old restaurant that’s built over a river—a recommendation by locals.
Did you have a honeymoon?
This question always seems strange to me…um, yes, of course! I finally figured out that what people are really asking is did we have a honeymoon in the same town as our wedding—that would be a negative, Ghost Rider. We arrived several days before the wedding and did everything we wanted to do in the town where we had our wedding. After the wedding we drove over the Asheville, North Carolina and stayed for several days enjoying the Biltmore (an old favorite for me, and new experience for him) and local attractions in the area. (Canyons, Blue Ridge Parkway, Grandfather Mountain, etc.) We also stopped for a day in Savannah, Georgia. Now, you could certainly choose to stay with your family if you wanted but that didn’t sound the least bit appealing to us, or them! Haha. I do think that’s one of the downsides of being married on a cruise though—you can’t really ‘get away.’
How did you decide who got invitations?
This was easily the most challenging part of the experience! Since both of us have huge families, our original pre-destination guest list numbered in the hundreds—and that was just with family! It came down to deciding who we were closest with and most wanted there with us and not feeling guilty over the ‘cuts.’ We were also limited by the number of people we were allowed to have in the chapel we chose, but you could certainly choose a location with a larger capacity. You may also have to be willing to compromise some on the guest list. Our list wasn’t split 50/50, and that’s okay. Mr. FGT has four siblings and two of them are married so his immediate family already more than doubles mine. Of the 20 quests (if I’m counting right) 7 were mine, 13 were his (including the Maid of Honor/parents/Best Man). It was close to 50/50 but there was compromise—which is great! That’s already an important part of marriage! :)
What did your family do after the wedding?
Uh, whatever they wanted! It was really up to the guests. Quite frankly, I was on my honeymoon, as long as they were safe and not with me (sorry, love you but not that much) I didn’t really care! Some family immediately went home due to work obligations, or simply because they were ready to go home. Eric’s family only stayed a day or two after the wedding but they also chose to go up to TN early and enjoyed a camping trip in Cherokee prior to the wedding. My parents and sister vacationed in a different part of the state, only returning a day or two before us.
What was your favorite part, besides the wedding itself?
I have two. First: We wanted to go up a ski lift in the middle of Gatlinburg wearing all our clothes with the family members who wanted to join us. (Some of the young kids couldn’t) I loved that unique part of our wedding. The second was how stressless it was. We literally arrived, got married, and left. No setup, tear down, or anything else!
What are the cons?
There weren’t many, but having to make tough choices about the guest list was definitely up there. Another big challenge was getting everything there and ready. We couldn’t simply ‘run home’ and pick up a pair of forgotten shoes! We don’t usually pack super heavy for vacations but it felt like the amount of ‘stuff’ doubled for that trip. Dresses had to travel without being smashed, guests got little gift bags, makeup bags were added, etc.
Do you have any regrets?
I’m a fantastic procrastinator…and so is Eric. We waited until we got to Tennessee to buy him a wedding ring! Whoops!
What about your sister’s wedding?
I don’t think she’d put much thought into her own wedding at that point in time (she wasn’t engaged—yet!) but when she saw all the positive things that came of it she fell in love, too! Almost the moment she was engaged she also began talking about a destination wedding. (My cousin Ethan and I lobbied for California! LOL) They decided on Pigeon Forge, TN which is a stones throw from Gatlinburg. His family is from Pennsylvania and since we’re from Florida, the location they chose is almost in the exact center as far as drive-time goes! On and off she’s worried that our weddings may be similar, but the reality is the weddings are as different as we are! Her wedding totally fits her and her fiancé’s personalities and what they want is up to them. I learned first hand how annoying other people’s opinions can be so my message to them from the start has been, “Do your thing, I’ll be on board and we can wave to the ‘haters’ together!” :)
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